How to get laid on valentines Day.

Get excited, boys – it’s Valentine’s Day, the most romantic day of the year. At least, that’s what Hallmark and your dad have been trying to tell you. With February 14th fast approaching, you better have something good planned for you and your lady. And by “something good”, I’m not referring to that time you guys decided to get 50 hot wings, a sixteen case of Brooklyn, and watched the entire Indiana Jones franchise from start to finish (note: if you actually did do this, you are officially dating the greatest girlfriend that ever lived). I’m talking about planning the most romantic night in your relationship… by what SHE would deem romantic. That’s right, dude: it’s all about her on this one. In case you’re wondering about your due, you’ll always have your birthday…

Rule #1 About V Day: It’s All About Her

Modern women don’t have high expectations of men these days. Thanks to the downfall of modern society, as long as we can talk, eat, and occasionally shower, there’s very little we have to live up to. Of course, when we do go above and beyond, that usually catches their attention. So, here’s the deal: women only ask two days of us to make them feel amazing – Valentine’s Day and your anniversary. Valentine’s Day is one of the only days that your girlfriend will ask you to be Prince Charming (whatever that is to her) and you owe it to them. Because, y’know, it only happens once a year. I’m not saying splurge, I’m not saying be obvious; I’m saying: “Make. It. Count.” A Valentine’s Day to be remembered is possibly the greatest leverage in any relationship, especially considering that she chooses to ignore your mammoth porn collection.

Why Valentine’s Day Matters To Her

It’s not the Hallmark aspect of the holiday, it’s the fact that – for some ridiculous reason – our culture decided that everybody needs to get romantic. Women like romance, some way more than others. It’s not that she wants to be smothered, she wants to know that she matters to you. You don’t need to go overboard (sorry, Carrie Bradshaw), but you should make an effort that is personalized and says something special. That’s why I advocate staying away from your prototypical gestures. Think of it this way: if she had one day to fulfill your basic ideal of a girlfriend, wouldn’t you hope that’d include her dressing up like the Oktoberfest girl in European Vacation? Same idea.

Some extra pointers…

  • Don’t go overboard on spending. Remember, we’re still in the midst of a Recession. I’m more than certain she won’t mind if you play it conservative this year. Spend only as much as you need to; in any situation, you don’t want to look like you’re being obvious.
  • Ask her what she’s up for. There is a lot of romance to surprise, but the only way you’re going to get a sense of what she expects is by asking her.
  • Bears are very last century. The only girls getting a stuffed animal for Valentine’s Day should be 8th graders.
  • Save the date. Whatever you do, don’t forget about Valentine’s Day. Do what you have to do to remember. Otherwise, start planning for your funeral.

 

 

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By theunderground411 Posted in Articles

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